Angels are hard to find....

This probably one of the hardest posts I am ever going to write...

Shortly before Christmas I received a letter from my high school informing me that a classmate had just lost her infant son. Needless to say, this is such a tragic event and it is always difficult to express your condolences to someone, especially for something that is just too difficult to imagine or understand.

Sadly, I understand what Lisa is going through all too well. Thirteen years ago in June, I lost my first son. To make a long story short, Joey had a post urethral valve obstruction, which basically caused his bladder and kidneys to disintegrate in utero because he could not pass urine. If detected early, this problem can be fixed, but unfortunately, we had no indication that anything was wrong and because I did not have an ultrasound after 14 weeks, nothing was detected.

It is something I hope no one has to go through, but sadly many do. I am writing this post because I love to keep my son's memory alive and also I hope that my story helps someone who really needs to feel that they are not alone.

When I heard the sad news of my friend, I was taken back to the time just after Joey passed away (which, by the way, I remember little of---probably a combination of my coping mechanism and medication.)

I do remember how hopeless everything seemed and the anger I felt toward God. Because of this, I am reaching out to her (and sharing this with my readers) because if it helps one person, it is worth it.

Luckily, I have a tremendous support system and survived. My sweet daughter , Cara, was born a year later and probably brought me out of one of the deepest depressions. I am so thankful to have my three children and my little angel who I know watches over them.

I knew that I wanted to make Lisa a card and include a poem that we actually used on my son's mass card. This poem really touched me and I hope that Lisa gets some comfort from it as well. Here are the words in case you cannot read them on the card:

Little Angels

When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above
We mortals sometimes question
the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with
the death of one small child
who does so much to make our world
seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to His fold,
so He pics a rosebud
before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few
to make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be “Goodbye.”
So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind
must realize God loves children
Angels are hard to find.

I printed off the poem on vellum and then adhered the vellum to vanilla cardstock that I stamped with flowers from Stampin' Up! Garden Silhouettes. I applied the adhesive at the corners (because it will show through). Then, I ran gold cardstock through my cuttlebug with the textile folder and used my SU corner punches to create decorative corners which hide the tape.

The background was also embossed with the textile pattern.

This card was very simple but took awhile for me to figure out how to get the poem on there. Sometimes the more simple the design, the more difficult it is for me to make.

I hope that Lisa is comforted by so many loved ones right now.

I am signing off with one of the few photos I have of my son. Joey was transported to another hospital after birth to see if they could save him. After we received news that his internal organs were too damaged, we removed care. I am so grateful that a few of my family members were able to travel to that hospital to be with him when they removed him from the machines. This is a photo of my brother holding our Angel.

Off to hug my kids.